Feeling Helpless when you are use to being Helpful

I’m someone who always has to be busy.  My hands and my brain just always need to be engaged.  Even at night I’m usually listening to an audiobook while I’m settling into sleep.

Two nights ago my back twisted into a giant ball of pain.  After a long day I finally found an effective pain medicine and my back relaxed back into position.  But I still needed to relax and rest today.  Usually that’s a normal Saturday for me, but today a friend came over to help me clean.  I just wanted to reach in and help.  I hated just sitting there.

Then I reflect back on this last week.  An acquaintance of mine is in the same Neuroscience Intensive Care Unit where my dad spent the first month after receiving his brain tumor/cancer diagnosis.  My brain immediately spun into helpful mode.  I even tried to pay a visit, and realized that I was there for me, not him.  I sat in the waiting room for a while and it was cathartic for me to remember this period of time and mentally thank all of those that people that helped us then.  It was also a good place to remember how God carries you through those most turbulent days.

God uses us as hands to help people through those rough patches.  We need to be willing to help.  We also need to be willing to accept help when things get beyond us.  My heart failure requires me to pace myself, but even while walking slowly through my life, I can reach out a hand and help.